Birth Plan draft

After a few editing and advice from friends and books, we now present to you our draft of the birth plan.

Father: Papa Vịt

Birth Attendants: Papa Vịt, XYZ hospital nurses, Dr. Doula (if available)

Philosophy: natural, non-medicated birth. We have read birthing books and have been trained in the Bradley Method. (We failed the class for not showing to a couple of sessions, but we got the gist of it.)

Environment
• Wish to remain hydrated with Gatorade, clear fluids, and ice chips
• Option to have small nutritional snacks (crackers, nuts, yogurt, avocado)

First –Stage Labor
• Privacy… We would prefer Papa Vịt to be the primary support person.
• Prefer freedom to walk around during labor.
• Minimal exams to avoid becoming distracted or discouraged, gently as possible when performed to avoid premature rupture of membranes.
• Manage pain in the following ways: massage, relaxation, rhythmic breathing, etc.

Second-Stage Labor
• Freedom to move around and try different pushing positions
• Please use perineal massage, warm compress and support to prevent tearing. If necessary to alleviate clitoral tear or fetal distress, please do a pressure episiotomy.
• Immediate mother-infant skin-to-skin contact… please do not wash baby before attempting breastfeeding

Third-Stage Labor
• Withhold clamping and cutting the umbilical cord until blood has transferred to the baby and cord has stopped pulsating.
• Please administer Piticon only if threat of hemorrhage.
• Jeff would like to cut the cord.

Post Baby Care
• Please do administer Vitamin K Shot and Erythromycin Ointment

In Case of Transfer: If mother and baby have to be separated, Papa Vịt will stay with the baby.

Feeling Guilty (and evil)

I feel a little guilty admitting that I love sending our holiday card and getting other people's. In general, I'm not a fan of this kind of paper communication—I would much prefer to use e-greetings or evites when propriety dictates that one must be thanked or invited to something. But even I see that getting an electronic holiday card wouldn't be nearly as charming as the standard-issue photo card. It's classy when people personalize their cards, but I'm still very pleased to receive cards from my friends whether they personalize them or not. The photos that people choose and the card styles or companies that they use are a little window into each family's personality. And maybe we feel like this time of year must be a bit heartening to the postal service, which is otherwise suffering in the face of so much electronic communication.

To celebrate my hypocrisy about holiday paper communications, here’s the traditional Christmas Carols in a minor key, just to make them sound sort of evil: