Happy Graduation c/o '06

This year, Gettysburg has chosen (or successfully invited) Bruce S. Gordon to be the c/o 2006 commencement speaker. After an eye-opening Bill Cosby’s speech at a predominately black women’s college, Spelman, I’m curious what Gordon has to say. Don’t get me wrong, graduates, I’m there to cheer you on. Just some quick recap what Bill Cosby said:

ATLANTA - Bill Cosby challenged Spelman College's graduates "to take charge" Sunday, adding those leaving the historically black college for women have no choice but to lead.
"You have to know that it is time for you all to take charge," Cosby said. "You have to seriously see yourselves not as the old women where the men stood in front and you all stood behind, because the men, most of them are in prison."
Added Cosby: "It is time for you to pick up the pace and lead because the men are not there. They're not there and every one of you young women know it."

My favorite part:

Cosby told the graduates that the same male students who are dropping out of high school "have memorized the lyrics of very difficult rap songs."
Added Cosby: "And they know how to send their sperm cells out and then walk away from the responsibility of something called fatherhood."
Cosby said he acknowledged that his criticisms are not meant for all black males, but he said 70 percent of black graduates this year are female.
"Who's running the show?" Cosby asked. "It appears that the male is, but I have news for you. It's your turn.
"We want you to lead in business. We want you to lead in medicine. We want you to lead in everything."

Though, he exaggerated a bit, but his point is well-taken. Haha, "send their sperm cells out". Can you imagine if he was giving this speech in Gettysburg? Or at Harvard? Also, Cosby gave Spelman College $20 million. Wow! Speaking of money, the cost to go to Gettysburg is:

Tuition: $33,700
Telecommunication Fee: $280
Student Activities Fee: $70
Room (regular dorm room): $4,380
Board (unlimited access): $3,880
Total: $42,310

Now, multiply that total by four, and that, my friend, explains why I’m hovering just above the poverty line. Notice I didn’t include the cost of weekend beer runs and school textbooks. I love you, my Alma Mater. Seriously, graduates, make the best of your education. In the words of Shel Silvertein:

Put Something In

Draw a crazy picture,
Write a nutty poem,
Sing a mumble-grumble song,
Whistle through your comb.
Do a loony-goony dance
'Cross the kitchen floor,
Put something silly in the world
That ain't been there before.

Happy graduation! See you folks this weekend and beyond. Wait, wait, don't tell me. I'm gonna take a wild guess that the groovy Valedictorian is ND :-) Congratulations graduates!! Come join the real world. The doors won't be open; the beds won't be made; you're gonna have to do it yourself. Lots of possibilities and amazing prospects.

Up-to-date (5/22/06):

Still recovering from c/o 06 commencement. My ears are still ringing from the extremely loud air horns. I don't why, I always seem to gravitate toward the people with the air horns. It was a windy graduation, literally. I was sleep-walking through most of the ceremonies. We stopped by the Ragged Edge coffee shop for lunch (so glad they're open). Thanx KL, ND, "Gi" and MN! And much congratulations!!

Now where are my happy pills?

Up-to-date #2(5/23/06):

ND is moving and working in the DC area as a consultant. Watch out, world. He's wicked savvy.