Remembrances

My friend JH’s grandmother has passed away. I had sent my condolences to her family, but the reflection on loss would still be hard. Three years ago, my beloved Ngoại had left us and ventured into the other realm. I miss her so much. The first six years of my life, Ngoại cared for me, among my other rascal cousins. A Mahayana Buddhist, Ngoại would take me to the temple to dust the floor and sweep the yard. I often just sat at the corner of the temple and watch Ngoại and the monks recite sutras with their meditation beads. I do miss her.
What I meant to say, JH, is that loss is tough, but it’s an essential component of the human lives, even though we tend to try to deflect, defer, or block out (which I still do). It takes tremendous energy to constantly be blocking out reality. I found these five remembrances from the Zen Buddhist, Thich Nhat Hanh, a bit comforting in dealing with my grandmother’s loss.

The Buddha's Five Remembrances

(1) I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old.

(2) I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape ill health.

(3) I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death.

(4) All that is dear to me and everyone I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape being separated from them.

(5) My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand.

The blunt language of this text is the tool that helps free up the energy and bring more awareness of the present moment. I’m sorry for the sad news, and I hope that you’ll take care. There’s no easy way to deal with the grief. Cherish the memory and share it with your family and friends.